I start college tomorrow, first course is my Sociology course, and that’s all I’ve got. I started to have one of my episodes today at the mall, but managed to avoid it, and I’m worried I’ll slip into one of them tomorrow. I’m shaking and paranoid and upset and everyone left me earlier, so I’m kind of weathering this on my own. I really wish I didn’t worry about shit that probably isn’t an actual problem. I feel like my heads spinning, it’s just going in circles and going nowhere and I wish it would stop but it won’t. I hate being places with people I don’t know. I don’t know if I can stand being in a class with them for an hour. Kickboxing was different, I had Chantal there and I just focused on her. I have nobody to lean on in Sociology. I’m upset. I can tell. My eyes won’t focus. I’m having trouble reading what I’m typing because everything is getting blurry and mixed together and it won’t stop. So I’m going to stop writing and hope I calm down eventually. This probably isn’t good for my health. I hate feeling alone.
